Answer: This question is nearly as old as time itself. But at last, I will put this ancient inquiry to bed. To set the scene, I will first provide a little history. Approximately 750 years ago, man came to the realization that holding your own arms up can indeed be a tiresome task. Of course, man had already discovered that standing was also a waste of time, and had invented the chair. Clearly, it was apparent that something was necessary to hold up one's arms as well. Many of you may be familiar with Thomas Crapper, who you probably believe to have invented the flushing toilet. Whoever told you this was a liar. Although Crapper did own a plumbing company called Thomas Crapper & Co (which would make a great band name), he did not invent the toilet. In reality, he invented what we refer to today as the armrest. Why Crapper never combined his love of plumbing and armrests to create a super awesome toilet, the world will never know. The armrest quickly became a staple in society, and has remained so ever since.
So, back to the original question. You go to the theater; you are seeing the Rugrats Movie with your significant other. You sit down with your imitation popcorn drenched in imitation butter and drink a $7 bottle of imitation water. You go to rest your weary arms on your armrests and.....Eghad!!!! There are already arms on both of your armrests!! What the (place expletive here)! As a lazy human being do you not have the right to accost one of the perpetrators and claim the armrest that is truly yours? No, that is what a low-life would do. (America the Beautiful begins playing here) We believe in capitalism in this country, Americans act in self-interest, its all about opportunity cost, and we will curbstomp anybody who gets in our way. So here is what you do. You watch that armrest like you would your wallet in Mexico. The moment one of those slimeballs lifts their arm to scratch their nose, you strike like a cobra and claim that armrest. They try to return their arm to the armrest, they feel yours and they look at you, as if their pathetic stare is supposed to make you feel guilty. DO NOT GIVE IN. Watch your movie in comfort. So, the simple answer to this question is that you are entitled to all and any armrests, but you must use your stealth and cunning to deserve their comfort.
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