Exceptionality: Remember, remember the 5th of November. Have you ever heard this saying and not understood what it was referring to? That use to be me, but as of recently I was cultured and learned exactly what the 5th of November is and how it should be celebrated. Apparently on November 5th in 1605 some fool by the name of Guy Fawkes made a failed attempt to place and detonate a bomb beneath the House of Lords; if he had been successful he would have killed King James I and members of Parliament. The date is known as Guy Fawkes Night. I have no idea why this specific failed assassination attempt is remembered, seeing as there have been a plethora of homicidal under-achievers throughout history. But this is not the true matter of discussion. If you wish to properly celebrate Nov. 5th, the following is the list of supplies you will need: 50 empty milk jugs, an old newspaper, about 40 gallons of gasoline, an old, abandoned mineshaft, and a lighter. If you have not already figured it out, the proper celebration is composed of throwing molotov cocktails (fashioned from milk jugs, gasoline, and newspaper) down an old abandoned mineshaft in the middle of nowhere. I must admit when I first heard the plans for the night I was a little skeptical, but after watching the first flaming milk jug fall deep into the bellows of the mineshaft, smash into the wall, and burst into a spectacular fireball, I was hooked. It is a November tradition I plan to continue for many years to come and recommend to all who wish to change their lives forever. It is also acceptable to burn Guy Fawkes in effigy to end the night's festivities.
in.dif.er.
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